is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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