I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
