What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
These tits shall not be calmed
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
