i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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