Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize