Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
