he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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