There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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