I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
