I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
