sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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