we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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