she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
