no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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