the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
