i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Found your dick twin last night
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
