At least make sure they are 18
Why
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize