All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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