Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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