Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
