Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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