i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
