Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Randomize
