Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
