HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
His hands were made for my vagina.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I think people are normalizing furries
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