Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
