What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
