You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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