:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize