Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
