do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
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