yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
