We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
did i walk over a car last night?
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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