It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
My ATM looks so different sober.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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