i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Randomize
