At least make sure they are 18
Why
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
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