Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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