I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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