At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
