is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
