I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize
