I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
We had to coat check the pizza.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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