So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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