Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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