I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
