so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
