Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Randomize
