Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
