I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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