i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
