grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize