okay pat passed out under dana's car
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
