Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
We had sex on a dog bed..
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize