Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
