Define "chronic" masturbator.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
