I don't remember. Are we still dating?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
