Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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