she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
