Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
