Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize